Our biggest news of the year 2005 was that we discovered Ann is pregnant and we are expecting our first child in mid-July 2006.  No, we don't know if it is a boy or a girl, and we aren't planning to find out until he or she makes it's arrival, although Ann is fairly sure it's a boy and Paul is equally as sure that it's a girl. In the tradition of Ann's Oregonian friends, we have hired two midwives and are planning a homebirth.

We announced the good news to our families at Christmas.  We printed up "gift certificates" with the following text:
Good for the redemption of one (1) new grandchild*
Valid July 2006.
* No substitutions or returns.  This offer is not transferable.  Gender based solely on availability.  Void where prohibited.  Not responsible for damage caused by spit-ups, hair-pulling, chewing, or bowel movements.  This card may not be redeemed for cash, check, or credit.  Batteries not included.  Baby may be unavailable for social interaction for long periods during the first year due to frequent naps.  Use only as directed.  Small possibility that this offer may be immediately doubled or tripled, but the parents sure hope not.  No warranty of any kind is made, neither express or implied.  Any and all risk on entering grandparenthood is assumed by you, the recipient.  Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy machinery.  Resemblance to any real person, living or dead, possibly even you, is not coincidental, but is to be expected.



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