Our Wedding Philosophy
Another way
For those of you who know either of us well, you won't be surprised to learn that we are approaching our wedding day from a different starting point than many couples
To begin with, we recognize that our wedding day is just that: one day. It is an important day, yes, but it is only a single day in what we hope will be many years of marriage. We want to keep the day in perspective rather than trying to create a fairy-tale like wedding and reception that is focused on outward appearances and how much money we spend.
Our wedding liturgy
Instead, our primary focus is on sharing a meaningful liturgy. Fortunately, we have the examples of many friends who have been married in extraordinarily creative and beautiful ceremonies that did not cost much money or succumb to the trap of the wedding industry, which tells us we must have the best and most expensive of everything on our wedding day.
We have chosen to celebrate our wedding in the context of a Roman Catholic mass, because of the significance that this form of prayer has for us. For those non-Catholics or non-practicing Catholics who will be in attendance, we want you to feel welcomed and comfortable worshipping with us. We hope that the liturgy will be a wonderful expression of our faith lives.
Our reception
We want our reception also to reflect our values. There are many biblical stories of God's largesse and abundance at wedding banquets, so we plan on having a good party-- after all, Jesus was a big partier. However, we want to keep the amount of money we spend in balance with our commitment to economic justice in a world where there are still so many needy people in our world. In our research, we were amazed to learn that the average American wedding costs $22,000. We plan to have a joyful reception we think everyone will enjoy for much less.
For those of you who know either of us well, you won't be surprised to learn that we are approaching our wedding day from a different starting point than many couples
To begin with, we recognize that our wedding day is just that: one day. It is an important day, yes, but it is only a single day in what we hope will be many years of marriage. We want to keep the day in perspective rather than trying to create a fairy-tale like wedding and reception that is focused on outward appearances and how much money we spend.
Our wedding liturgy
Instead, our primary focus is on sharing a meaningful liturgy. Fortunately, we have the examples of many friends who have been married in extraordinarily creative and beautiful ceremonies that did not cost much money or succumb to the trap of the wedding industry, which tells us we must have the best and most expensive of everything on our wedding day.
We have chosen to celebrate our wedding in the context of a Roman Catholic mass, because of the significance that this form of prayer has for us. For those non-Catholics or non-practicing Catholics who will be in attendance, we want you to feel welcomed and comfortable worshipping with us. We hope that the liturgy will be a wonderful expression of our faith lives.
Our reception
We want our reception also to reflect our values. There are many biblical stories of God's largesse and abundance at wedding banquets, so we plan on having a good party-- after all, Jesus was a big partier. However, we want to keep the amount of money we spend in balance with our commitment to economic justice in a world where there are still so many needy people in our world. In our research, we were amazed to learn that the average American wedding costs $22,000. We plan to have a joyful reception we think everyone will enjoy for much less.
Gifts
Our starting point is that we do not expect "wedding gifts" from our friends and family. Your presence with us on our wedding day (physical or spiritual) and your love and support of us afterward is gift enough. We are also very aware that we have been abundantly blessed in so many ways. However, we recognize that some of you may desire to gift us with a more particular present. If this is the case, we invite you to consider sharing something of your unique "time, talent, or treasure" with us, especially since we are already blessed with all of the material necessities we need-- and more.
For more about gift possibilities, see our gift page.
More about simple weddings
In preparing for our wedding, we found some resources that have been helpful for our reflection and planning. We recommend Sacred Threshold: Rituals and Readings for a Wedding With Spirit by Gertrud Mueller Nelson and Christopher Witt as a good starting point. We also were surprised to find stories from some of Ann's parish friends in Portland in the Wedding Alternatives guide from Alternatives For Simple Living. We also found it to be a great resource.
Our starting point is that we do not expect "wedding gifts" from our friends and family. Your presence with us on our wedding day (physical or spiritual) and your love and support of us afterward is gift enough. We are also very aware that we have been abundantly blessed in so many ways. However, we recognize that some of you may desire to gift us with a more particular present. If this is the case, we invite you to consider sharing something of your unique "time, talent, or treasure" with us, especially since we are already blessed with all of the material necessities we need-- and more.
For more about gift possibilities, see our gift page.
More about simple weddings
In preparing for our wedding, we found some resources that have been helpful for our reflection and planning. We recommend Sacred Threshold: Rituals and Readings for a Wedding With Spirit by Gertrud Mueller Nelson and Christopher Witt as a good starting point. We also were surprised to find stories from some of Ann's parish friends in Portland in the Wedding Alternatives guide from Alternatives For Simple Living. We also found it to be a great resource.